Dear Mama,

This Mother’s Day I want to give you

the most beautiful flowers you’ve ever seen

and watch your eyes light up at the site of them.

 

I want to give you a hug

and reminisce about when I was young

and you were younger…

 

Like when you taught me how to tie

with the belt of your red robe

and when you taught me how to make biscuits….

and then how to cut off the bottoms.

 

Oh mom, there is so much I want to tell you…

But this Mother’s Day you are in Heaven

and all I can do is think of you

and pray I’ll be with you again soon.

 

Love,

Your Daughter

Dear Mama,

I miss you so much right now.  Not having you here at Christmas is killing me.  My heart was really breaking on my birthday when I couldn’t talk to you and then again on your birthday. 

Everything I see reminds me of you now that it’s Christmas time.  I know how you love red, and cardinals, poinsettias and amaryllis and I see them everywhere in the stores and in emails I get.  I really wish I could see you again.  The amaryllis flower I bought last year and thought might have died a long time ago just started growing.  I almost sat it outside a few times thinking for sure it was dead but decided to keep it because I could see green on the bulb.  It grew so fast and now it is over a foot tall with 4 leaves.   I think it’s neat that it decided to grow for me now when I needed you. 

I have run into some of our old friends who asked how you are.  My heart just hits the floor every time.  Chris is helping me though.  He knows I’m hurting for you and he remembers how he felt after he’s dad died.  He’s taking good care of me.

Miss you mama,

Donna

Dear Mama,

When I was in Phoenix sitting by the lake on the bench under the tree I felt like you were there.  I fed the ducks and thought of how you could have enjoyed that.  This mallard could walk right up to me and eat from my hand.  I know how much you love birds.  

ducks on the pond near Windmill Suites in Surprise, AZ

I saw this one speckled one that I knew would have been your favorite.  I of course loved this white one that had splotches of green feathers on it’s head with tuff’s that stuck out and made it look like it had mussed up hair.  After a few minutes I saw something move above me from the corner of my eye.  It was a humming bird and it was beautiful.  It darted around like a dragonfly.  I remembered you sending me pictures of humming birds at your feeders that stuck to the windows.  You were right too, it’s nearly impossible to get a picture of them.  I thought I missed it but I actually caught it in one shot.  It’s hard to see though. 

Humming bird

Thanks for joining me there.  I’ve missed you so.

Donna

Dear mama,

My garden is really starting to look beautiful now that everything has had some time to grow.  My wild Iris are blooming now and my pink bleeding heart is 2 feet tall.  Everytime I walk through my garden I think of you.  I just wish I could talk to you one more time.  There are so many things I wish I could have asked you or talked to you about…  I keep thinking of all the time I had to talk to you when I didn’t.  Wasted moments, wasted memories. 

I heard this song today and it made me think of you…. 

I Still Miss you

Keith Anderson

I’ve changed the presets in my truck
so those old songs don’t sneak up
they still find me and remind me
yeah you come back that easy
try restaurants I’ve never been to
order new things off the menu
that I never tried cause you didn’t like
two drinks in you were by my side

I’ve talked to friends
I’ve talked to myself
I’ve talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I’ve been strong and I’ve been weak
and I still miss you
I’ve done everything move on like I’m supposed to
I’d give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you
I still miss you baby

I never knew til you were gone
how many pages you were on
it never ends I keep turning
and line after line and you are there again
I dont know how to let you go
you are so deep down in my soul
I feel helpless so hopeless
its a door that never closes
no I don’t know how to do this

I’ve talked to friends
I’ve talked to myself
I’ve talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I’ve been strong and I’ve been weak
and I still miss you
I’ve done everything
move on like I’m supposed to
I’d give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you yeah

I’ve talked to friends
I’ve talked to myself
I’ve talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I’ve been strong and I’ve been weak
and I still miss you
I’ve done everything
move on like I’m supposed to
I’d give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you yeah

I still miss you
I still miss you…… yeah…. yeah…..

 

Dear Mama,

I talked to Willie yesterday.  We had a nice talk and I’m glad we finally caught up with each other.  He’s so smart and I’m so proud of everything he’s doing.  I know you are too.  He just needs to keep plugging away and not give up.  I think he’ll be great at whatever he does…… whether he makes it to being an RN or just a CMA.  He’ll be great at it.  It seems so funny that we are both doing such similar things.  He is so different than I am but he loves the job of caring for people as much as I do.  I can tell he is just as passionate as I am.  I sure wish he were closer to me. 

I want to call aunt Edith and talk to her.  I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately.  I think she understands how I feel better than anyone.  Maybe because she is your sister…..maybe because she’s a councillor….. who knows.

Love ya Mama

Dear Mama,

I wish you could see Riley pulling weeds and watering the garden.  He loves helping me outside and tending the young plants I have started indoors.  I watch him as he looks for weeds in the garden like they are some predator and it makes me laugh.  He has definitely been bitten by the gardening bug….  Or maybe he just got the gardening gene that I got from you….and you got from your mom.  The legacy continues.

Poem written on the way to GA

Mama,

If I could turn back time
I’d go back to yesterday
So I could say “I love you”
Before you went away

Then I’d make those forgotten calls
That never reached your ears
So you’d know you weren’t forgotten
Through all the passing years

I’d pull the harsh words I said
From my mouth before they hurt you
And I’d add a few
where there should have been some too.

Mama, don’t forget me now
I’ll still talk to you now and then
And keep an eye on the door
’cause you never know when I’ll come see you again.

Donna

Written in the air on 2/18/08

Dear Mama,

I rememeber when you were here last and you helped me plant my first garden at my new house.  I was so hoping you could come back and help me again.  I have dedicated my front garden to you and I will always keep it beatiful.  I just planted 2 white bleeding hearts there along with pink and burgandy flowers.  I started burgandy sweetpeas and deep red sunflowers from seed.  I hope they look as pretty growing on my fence as I’ve imagined.  I’m looking for just the right angel to put there for you.

I wore your gardening hat today as I planted.  I wondered why you attached the piece of elastic like you did until the first good gust of wind.  I just imagined you chacing that hat in the planting fields behind your garden and it gave me a little laugh. 

I miss you.

Donna